Instead of showing off some of the best gifts (the Rosie
Reds membership from my wife's aunt is pretty hard to beat), I'd prefer to
share with you the Best Worst-Gift I received.
Every year, most of us get a gift from a loved one—typically
an older member of the family—that is meaningful but usually kind of
ridiculous. For example, a few years back my wife's grandma gave me a tool that
you keep in your car's glove compartment to use, and I quote, "to break
your window in the event you drive into a lake." I could only assume she
had given me this gift based on her own driving experiences. Another year my
mom gave me a tie that looked like a piano and actually played music. There
were only two problems with this: 1) I don't know how to play the piano and 2)
Guys who wear piano ties don't get invited to parties. (They get invited to sit home alone
on Saturday nights, locked securely in a sound-proof room at least 70 yards
from their wives.)
But this year's Best Worst-Gift takes the cake. It really
puts all other gifts to shame. In fact, I previously mentioned that a gift such
as this would be the ultimate in bad gifts. And, apparently, someone was
listening.
So I'd like to thank my wife for giving me the Best
Worst-Gift I've ever received, which I now proudly display (on the floor) in my office. It serves as a constant reminder that my wife is, and always will be,
pure evil.1
1It's important to note that John Stamos is my arch enemy. It's also important to note that Kelly Kapowski would never have given me a gift like this.OK, so I can't keep it on my office floor forever. What do you think I should do with it? Comment below and perhaps I will take your suggestion.
NEED A FATHER'S DAY GIFT? PREORDER:Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl
(A Dad's Survival Guide to Raising Daughters)
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7 comments:
STAMOS!
Hilarious! And you do know that you and Stamos could pass for twins, right? ;)
Send it to me! I love me some Stamos. Although if he ever stops by, ill have to put it in a drawer, I don't wanna look like some stalker or anything...
Frame looks good. Place photos of your kids over John's photos and you're all set.
As a bonus, someday when your kids are cleaning out your house, they may find the picture underneath and wonder, "Was this an old friend of Dad's?"
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