This is the first time I’ve ever tried to sell a house. I envisioned it to be a fairly neat process: Spend a few weeks readying the house, put it on the market and watch as potential buyers soak up the bright, sparkly gleam of the hardwood floors.
Clearly, I am stupid.
Selling a house while kids live in it is one of the most difficult challenges you will face as a parent, ranking right up there with Potty Training and dealing with The Vomit Fairy. Every day is a battle to keep the house tidy. Kids see a clean room as a blank canvas, ripe for making an artistic mess of toys, clothes, milk spills and Cheerio crumbs. They have a radar for vacuumed rugs and break out the muddiest shoes to dance across them. And while it may take you 20 minutes to scrub all the dried pasta sauce and fingerprints off your glass dinning room table (I mean, seriously, how do they get hand marks underneath the middle of the table?), it only takes them one second to apply a sticker that’s impossible to remove.
Thanks to the misery of trying to sell our house with three kids under the age of six roaming the halls, I’ve developed five tips to help make life easier on all parents (with young kids) who are crazy enough to try and sell their house. Here they are.
1. Contain the kids in one room.
Kids are going to make a mess no matter where they are, so
it’s best to keep them all quarantined in one room—preferably at grandma’s
house.
2. Have a bag of snacks prepared at all times.
The most common hours people want to look at your house are
lunchtime, dinner time and naptime. If my kids aren’t fed and rested at their
normal times, they turn from adorable little angels into fire-breathing demons
who don’t listen, don’t behave and don’t want to listen to sports-talk radio
(UNTHINKABLE!). Having an emergency bag filled with pretzels, Pepperidge Farm
Goldfish and other tasty treats tends to go a long way in lulling the demons
into a mild roar.
(And before someone in the crowd says, “Why don’t you just
go out to eat?” know that we tried that—but eating at a restaurant every time
someone wants to look at your house will cost you more than your next house.)
3. Keep the trunk of your minivan cleared out.
There’s no real rhyme or reason as to when someone will
schedule a showing. They could give you 24 hours notice. They could give you 2
hours. Once we received a notice of 15 minutes. FIFTEEN MINUTES! We can't even get the kids from the couch to the car in 15 minutes. It's impossible to sweep all your
mess under the bed (trust me, I’ve tried). The next best thing is to quickly
swoop everything up and throw it in the trunk of your car. If you look in our
van at any given time, you’ll find at least three laundry baskets, a bag of
unopened mail, a box of toys and a sand bucket and shovel (in case I ever
decide to take an impromptu trip to the beach).
4. Make your kids help clean up the mess.
Take as much time as you need to laugh at that statement.
5. Accept that your house isn’t going to be perfect.
As you rush around in those final 15 minutes doing
everything you can to make the house immaculate (while still, somehow, finding
time to get yelled at by your wife for not giving your babysitter the bottle of
sunscreen that you were asked to give her 3 weeks ago), know that you will
probably forget something. It’s likely something small that no one will notice,
like a Lego on the bedroom floor or a sippy cup on the kitchen counter. Cut
yourself some slack. Trying to sell a house is hard. Trying to sell it while
children live there is near impossible. At least, that’s what I’ve learned.
I’ve also learned that children like to forget to flush the
toilet after pooping. Pray that’s not the “something” you forgot before rushing
out of your house.

Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl
(A Dad's Survival Guide to Raising Daughters)
******
* Subscribe to The Life of Dad via email or RSS feed!
* Also, follow me on Twitter @BrianKlems. I promise to occasionally say funny things.
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317 comments:
1 – 200 of 317 Newer› Newest»I feel your pain!
Mission impossible.
You have to get a broker and get out when potential buyers are looking at the house.
I understand the pain, Brian. We've been through the same thing -- four kids under seven at the time! Impossible. We put everything -- I mean everything apart from things to sit on and eat with -- in storage. It's amazing the difference the removal of kids' toys makes -- house value increased by at least $100K instantly! And sold much quicker. When we gave the kids' their toys back, they felt like it was Xmas again!
The secret to fast house selling is preparation. If you properly stage the house, then it'll catch the attention of potential home buyers. Having kids around mean extra effort, but if you can teach them to help and behave properly, then there's nothing else left to worry.
-Calvin Mordarski @ CityBlockTeam
Yes it's painful but I saw to you that despite of having a great stress you've able to manage everything in your house to keep it tidy. It's worth buying for!
Thanks for these tips! It's important to deal with your kids while you're selling your house. It might be that some buyers love seeing them as they roam at the halls, but some aren't. Just to be sure, it's better to heed your tips for a successful transaction. :)
Genny Stutesman @ Dallas.ChurchillMortgage.com
You’re right about cutting yourself some slack. The important thing is getting all the major undesirables out of the way so that potential buyers are not turned off by them. And yes, especially the unflushed toilets. Haha!
Great read as always!
Jessica
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Thanks for these great tips.I think your tips are so effective.I have my house in Thailand Chiang mai house
Great post! Been looking into selling my home recently. Thanks for the info!
You've scared me Brian. I'm not gonna have babies until I settle down somewhere permanently I swear lol.
Loved reading your post man, specially the part where kids think a clean tidy room is a blank canvas haha, and what stuff you keep in your van Brian!? Epic!
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جميعاً ندرك أن التنظيف ضمن أهم الأشياء التى نقوم بها و بالشكل الدورى تجأة الأماكن والأشياء التى الصفرات للنظافة نملكها ونتعامل معها مثل الأثاث والمنزل والفنادق وغيرها الصفرات لتنظيف الخزانات من الأشياء مثل السجاد والموكيت كل هذا يعنى أن التنظيف خيار لا بديل عنة ولا يمكن الأستغناء عنة لهذا فأن العمل على التطوير من الطرق الصفرات لتنظيف الموكيت المستخدمة والأسهل والأسرع ذلك السبيل الأول من أجل الحصول على الأفضل و الأسرع فى الصفرات لتنظيف المنازل عالم التنظيف أن البخار يعتبر من أكثر العناصر التى تقدم لنا النتائج الأفضل المبهرة والتى من شأنها القضاء على الفيروسات والجراثيم من على الأسطح الصفرات لتنظيف المجالس و الأرضيات و مع الأستمرار فى تلك العوامل ومع التطوير من قدرات العمالة يصبح الأمر الصفرات لتنظيف الشقق أفضل دائما و يسير ناحية الخيار الأفضل والأهم أن شركة الصفرات لتنظيف بالبخار ترسم دائما الأسس و المعايير التى تجعلها الأولى شركة الصفرات للتنظيف فى المملكة و الأوسع أنتشاراً وذلك لآنها تعتمد على قوة البخار المذهلة و الكبيرة الصفرات لتنظيف المسابح و التى تطهر و تعقم الأسطح و الأرضيات و غير ذلك الكثير
من خدمات الشركة عمليات نقل الاثاث ايضا تتم من خلال عمالة مدربة وسيارات مغلقة للحفاظ علي الصفرات لنقل العفش الاثاث من اشعه الشمس اثناء النقل نتميز بالجديد في هذه العملية خبره في نقل العفش والعمل الصفرات لنقل الاثاث علي تغليفه ونقله
this is new information for me, i never thought that selling house with and without kids can be a little different, and also people who are struggling to sell their house fast can go to investor sites like brandonbuysdallas.com, since they buy houses no matter the condition, Thanks for sharing this information!
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Keeping your van cleaned out and ready to dump things into sounds like a good plan. You want your house presentable after all. Staging is a major factor in if people will buy. http://www.houstonhometeam.com/
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This list seems very helpful as one little cute in baby is in baby our house and we are thinking for shifting in new place. Share some more informative tips regarding babies care with us.
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Before selling a house always consult with the real estate agents as they could helps you a lot and can manage you to receive a actual price of the house and manage a house in a systematical manner and arrange it in a unique look as this can helps a lot in receiving the actual price of the house.
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I think the best way to do is to keep the house clean. We know kids can do a lot of mess and keeping the house clean is difficult. Making a schedule of cleaning and decluttering will definitely help.
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My family is moving to California in three weeks and we're thinking of selling the house for cash so that we can get rid of our old home without any guilt. Since this is the first time I'm going to do this, I think that what you say is great because it's really helpful, because I was not aware that I need to have a bag of snacks prepared at all times for the potential buyers and that I should accept that my house isn't perfect and might not be too easy to sell immediately, so in order for me to prevent lowering its value, I'll keep the kids at their grandma's house like you suggest so they won't make a mess. If somebody needs to sell a house, my best bet is that a realty estate company might help in selling your house faster than if you do it alone.
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Those are some fine tips for selling doing real state business even if you have kids. The Van idea is a great tip for shifting your kids for the time being.
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