February 28, 2012

The Year of Amazing: Resolutions Update

Back in January I made a big stink (you know, the kind that's so relentless that it actually impresses your wife) about how 2012 was going to be an amazing year, and I set forth a list of challenging goals. We are nearly two months into the year of amazing, and I thought it'd be a good idea to update everyone on my progress (plus, calling myself out publicly adds a little pressure to get it done). 

So here is my Resolutions Update:

1. I am going to lose 20 pounds.
So far I've lost 5.5 LBS, which is a nice start considering Frito-Lay keeps discounting Doritos in every grocery store within a 75-mile radius of my house. It's a cruel game. Well played, Frito-Lay. Well played.

2. I am going to run a half marathon. 
I ran my first 5k a few weeks ago and my legs didn't fall off. I also learned that my stride falls in perfect rhythm with the Simple Plan classic, "You Suck at Love" (thank goodness my stride doesn't fall in line with this song). I have a 10k scheduled for this weekend. And it will all culminate on May 6, when I plan to be one of the most celebrated Cinderella stories at the big dance this year (The Flying Pig Marathon). To show their support, my girls even made me these armbands for me to wear when I run (see above). They made my heart melt. I will treasure them forever, and will always remember them as my resolution armbands.

3. I am going to take part in a flash mob. 
I'm still looking for more Dads to participate in this one. If I can't get enough Dads, I'm going to open it up to everyone because I'd rather do it than not do it. I promise this will be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It will also be quite awesome. Click here to contact me if you're interested no matter who you are.

4. I am going to find a way so that all three of my kids can sit on my lap at the same time and get a photo with all three of them smiling at the same time AND with all our eyes open. 
I'm convinced this is impossible. 

5. I am going to read my kids The Little Prince. 
We are on Chapter 4. We'd be further along except that some people who visit frequently keep my children up past their bedtime. I don't want to call these people out publicly, so, to hide their true identities, I will give them silly aliases, like Nonni and Poppi.

6. I am going to beat Andy Uhl in Scrabble. 
I keep trying to challenge him, but he keeps running from me. Is it because he's exhausted from chasing after his two 21-month-old twin boys and nearly 4-year-old daughter every day? Unlikely. Is it because he's providing web coding for his wife's amazing mom blog? I doubt it. Is it because he's training for this upcoming softball season? Perhaps. Is it because he knows that I know that "Qi" is a word and will drop it on him like a hammer? Well, Andy Uhl, here's what you need to know.

7. I am going to get rid of my blue sleeping pants that sport a giant hole in the crotch (much to the chagrin of my wife, I'm sure). 
Mission accomplished. I can only hope that they are now safely in Sleeping Pants Heaven, where there are other long-forgotten sleeping pants to mingle with.

8. I am going to pitch a Life of Dad book to agents and put myself out there. 
The proposal is finished. One sample chapter written (with a few others started). Now comes the hard part. Wish me luck.

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Amy Morgan said...

I'm impressed Brian - real forward progress! Congratulations!

Robin H. said...

Totally thought I was going to get Rick Rolled when I clicked on the "other song" link.

Also, are you playing real Scrabble or Words with Friends with Andy?

Ron Easton for Dads UnLimited said...

A great start! I wish this dad could join in your flash mob...

Andy said...

Robin, he's going to play Words with Friends with me. There is no way I am playing real Scrabble with Brian. He will simply try to intimidate me with his mustache. I am not going to let that happen.

Diane - It's All Good Until You Burn Dinner said...

I missed your resolutions back in January but just dropped by from Writer's Digest. Nice tips!

I need to ask one question..does every man have a pair of those "sleeping pants" with the hole in the crotch?

Sarah Lindahl said...

Hi! I found you through the Writer's Digest article you posted. It was very good. I've been blogging for a few years. I would love it if you would pop by and have a look and give me any tips and tricks for making things better.
Thanks! Sarah

Karen said...

Pulled into your blog site by Writers Digest email. :) My husband's Sleeping Pants has lost the drawstring, but he still wears them. Yes...I could fix them, like I have in the past, but I'm trying to write. I just started a blog. My paragraphs are too long with no headers. Hmmm. But my three blogs are unique. Your girls would love the paperdoll, cardboard furniture in the second blog. :)

Cindy Dwyer said...

Too funny! I enjoy your posts.

Please. I have to know. What IS it with you men and your ratty lounge wear? The only thing harder to take away from my husband than his "holey" pants is the remote.

Kara said...

Thanks, Brian, for the mention. :) Although I will be a little (a lot) jealous of you if/when you beat Andy at Scrabble as I have yet to achieve that—and I've known him a lot longer than you have. :) Best of luck pitching your book!!!

Brian A. Klems said...

Thanks folks!
Robin: My wife totally thought I was rickrolling her too.

Andy: Let's do this!

Kara: I need you to get Andy super drunk before we play.

Diane/Cindy: Sleeping Pants with a hole in the crotch are a must. We need them to match our holey socks. And if you loved us, you'd get our names embedded into our remotes. :-)

Karen: The website/blog looks good. Love the inspirational spin. Looks like you have some nice publishing credits. Keep up the good work!

Sarah: OK, the squat toilet thing made me laugh.

Thanks to all for the comments!