So here is my Resolutions Update:
1. I am going to lose 20 pounds.
So far I've lost 5.5 LBS, which is a nice start considering Frito-Lay keeps discounting Doritos in every grocery store within a 75-mile radius of my house. It's a cruel game. Well played, Frito-Lay. Well played.
2. I am going to run a half marathon.
I ran my first 5k a few weeks ago and my legs didn't fall off. I also learned that my stride falls in perfect rhythm with the Simple Plan classic, "You Suck at Love" (thank goodness my stride doesn't fall in line with this song). I have a 10k scheduled for this weekend. And it will all culminate on May 6, when I plan to be one of the most celebrated Cinderella stories at the big dance this year (The Flying Pig Marathon). To show their support, my girls even made me these armbands for me to wear when I run (see above). They made my heart melt. I will treasure them forever, and will always remember them as my resolution armbands.
3. I am going to take part in a flash mob.
I'm still looking for more Dads to participate in this one. If I can't get enough Dads, I'm going to open it up to everyone because I'd rather do it than not do it. I promise this will be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It will also be quite awesome. Click here to contact me if you're interested no matter who you are.
4. I am going to find a way so that all three of my kids can sit on my lap at the same time and get a photo with all three of them smiling at the same time AND with all our eyes open.
I'm convinced this is impossible.
5. I am going to read my kids The Little Prince.
We are on Chapter 4. We'd be further along except that some people who visit frequently keep my children up past their bedtime. I don't want to call these people out publicly, so, to hide their true identities, I will give them silly aliases, like Nonni and Poppi.
6. I am going to beat Andy Uhl in Scrabble.
I keep trying to challenge him, but he keeps running from me. Is it because he's exhausted from chasing after his two 21-month-old twin boys and nearly 4-year-old daughter every day? Unlikely. Is it because he's providing web coding for his wife's amazing mom blog? I doubt it. Is it because he's training for this upcoming softball season? Perhaps. Is it because he knows that I know that "Qi" is a word and will drop it on him like a hammer? Well, Andy Uhl, here's what you need to know.
7. I am going to get rid of my blue sleeping pants that sport a giant hole in the crotch (much to the chagrin of my wife, I'm sure).
Mission accomplished. I can only hope that they are now safely in Sleeping Pants Heaven, where there are other long-forgotten sleeping pants to mingle with.
8. I am going to pitch a Life of Dad book to agents and put myself out there.
The proposal is finished. One sample chapter written (with a few others started). Now comes the hard part. Wish me luck.
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