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1 It doesn't.2 My 5-year-old Ella is cut from the same skeptical mold as her father. I bet in her free time she also disproves e-mail forwards.3 I'm prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse. Are you?
Injury #1: Standing at the bottom of the slide, waiting to catch your little angel as she comes down. Just before she reaches the bottom your wife will almost certainly call your name, to which you will take your eyes off the slide just long enough for your angel to barrel into your shins like an angry soccer ball with teeth. If you look around the park, you’ll notice several dads wearing shin guards. Now you know why.
Injury #2: In an effort to prove your manliness, you decide to climb up the slide. Of course, you’ve already forgotten that you pulled your arm muscles on the Monkey Bars which keeps you from holding on. You fall, face first, into the the rim of the slide. This isn’t as painful as it’s sounds. It’s more painful than it sounds.
Injury #3: At some point your child will ask you to go down the slide. This is the moment you realize that slides, which come in all shapes and sizes, don’t come in “dad-size.” When it happens, I recommend pretending that you meant to get stuck. And, once you wiggle out and make your way on down, find a nice, quiet place to inconspicuously dig out the underwear that’s wedged so high up your keister it makes thongs look prudish.