October 28, 2010

A Movember to Remember:
The Diary of One Man's Quest to Grow a Mustache

I've done a lot of crazy things in my life—jumped into a bush, funneled a beer, bought Crystal Clear Pepsi—but the one wild thing I've never done but always wanted to do was grow a mustache.

A thick, grizzly, glorious mustache.

One that fills men with envy and ladies with lust.

The type of mustache that, when you look at yourself in the mirror, causes you to forget to put on pants because all you can see is reflection perfection.

That's right. Reflection. Perfection.

Before I was a Dad, I'd gone through the annual "We Should Grow Mustaches" ritual that all men make in the smoky confines of their favorite pub. That evening always plays out the same way: It's late. You're at the bar shooting pool with your buddies. A row of empty shot glasses clear the path for one of your friends to make that bold, prophetic statement that one of your friends always makes:

"You know what I need to do? Grow a mustache."

Like a choir of off-key tubas, the rest of the guys enthusiastically support this idea: "Hell yes! We're in." After 10 minutes of rock bumps, chest-thumping and the occasional foot high-five (also known as the "Tripped-And-Fell") you and your friends throw back a binding shot as a solemn vow that, starting the next morning, you will all grow a manly mustache.

But no one ever does. Instead of growing a magical "mo", the next morning is filled with a typical bucket of lousy excuses. "My employer won't let me." "I forgot." "Sorry I puked in your car."

Now I know what you're thinking: You're a Dad; that means you can grow a Dad'Stache no matter what. It's your right. Not so. I learned from several credible sources that you don't just get to grow a Dad'Stache, you must earn the right to grow one. (Or you must have started to grow it before 1974.) After learning this it was with a heavy heart that I resigned myself to the fact that I would never, ever grow a mustache from scratch. That was, until a few months ago when I learned of this spectacular event called "Movember."

Movember is a month-long event starting November 1 where men across the world grow a mustache to raise money for prostate cancer research (oh yes, it's real). You start clean-shaven, then "grow a mo." All donations go directly to efforts to save men's manly parts (and lives). Because of this, I've decided to take a pledge and ask you to join me.

I, BRIAN A. KLEMS, founder, CEO and gardener of The Life of Dad, vow not to shave my upper lip for the next 30 days starting Movember 1, growing the most manly Man'Stache I can. I will document each day's growth on the blog here in the About Movember tab and in a rotating box of photos on the right so you can see my progress. I will also enter weekly, diary-style updates, so you can follow along on my quest.

I've already added a link with a logo on the right-hand side of this blog where you can donate to the cause if you like. Donate $10. Donate $20. Donate $0. I just thought this would be a fun way to support a good cause by doing something I've always wanted to do but never had the guts to do (and by "guts" I mean "wife's approval").

And, if you're extra awesome, join in the fun! Become a member of The Life of Dad's team "REFLECTION PERFECTION" and grow your own "mo." If you join and send pictures, I'll find a way to work them into the blog. I'll also try to donate some money in your name. Grow any kind you like—a Dadly mo, a curly mo, a fu-manchu mo, a porn mo. It's all up to you. And, if you're not convinced, I've created a list of reasons "For" and "Against" growing a mustache to help make your decision easier:

Reasons Not to Grow a Mustache:  
You are in a horrible boating accident and your doctor—after looking long and hard at your medical chart—explains that if you don't shave your upper lip every day you will die.

Reasons to Grow a Mustache: 

So join me in my quest to save manly parts everywhere. At the very least, follow along as I create the best Thanksgiving family photo our family has ever taken. I will, in turn, make sure to get my photo updated daily during the month, so stop by each day and Watch My Mo Grow!

It'll be reflection perfection.

The Life of Dad is updated every week. Thanks for stopping by and following my attempts to be a good dad, husband and co-ed softball player. I hope you visit again. -- Brian

4 comments:

Terri Boes said...

I don't seem to have any trouble growing a mustache.

Anonymous said...

I think dads of girls certainly earn the right to stache! RIP BOB WHITE'S STACHE OF 39 YEARS ;(

Anonymous said...

I have always been a big fan of moustaches! Great idea, Brian!

Pat Lenius said...

This anonymous fan of moustaches is Pat Lenius, former co-worker with Brian